Imprimatur

As some much needed good news for today, I see another 5 star review on my vampire novel. :)

Not that I check them every day…

Not at all…

Shaddap. XD

It's sadly official. Borders is closing. No, I am really upset about this. I ADORE going to Borders and found the entire shopping experience much better than Barnes and Nobel, and Borders was the only place I knew of where I could purchase Paperchase products on clearance or with a coupon. It was also my go to store for comics and manga.

Briefly, I considered finally making the switch to an e-reader. On the rare occasion I actually purchase a book, it's a paperback. These are becoming few and far between, seeing as how I work in a library which gives me inside info on when my favorite books are coming out and I can read them for free. I don't even mind waiting. It gives me time to read other books. :p

But comics are not available on your average mainstream e-reader without jumping through a thousand hoops to get the jpeg files to display. And if you've ever seen my Shelfari list, I read A LOT of comics.

What concerns me most about Borders closing is, as a graphic novel fan and a librarian, I see kids sitting in stores AND in the library reading their favorite series because they simply can't afford to buy them. In my years as a fan, I've seen volumes go from $5.99-$7.99 to $9.99-$24.99 for your average collected book. Kids (and parents) just can't afford to keep up when some series can go as high as 30 volumes. That's $750 or more per series. And don't even get me started on having space for all these things!!

This calls to mind the last time I went to my local Borders where a man working there scolded the kids for standing around and reading the books. The kids complained the libraries don't have "cool books like these." The hell you say! I told them flat out "Not only do we have cool books but the one you have in your hand I just ordered for the library!"

They didn't believe me.

I feel for these kids because they can't afford to buy them, can't stand in a Borders and read (cause Borders is gone), and don't KNOW these books are in a library! This is really sad and troubling to me.

As to why I was considering an e-reader, I will need space in my house for all the comics I will now HAVE to purchase from Amazon (some comics I get are not appropriate for a library... Not all of them are yaoi so shaddap... XD) so if I want novels, I'd like to save the space and use an e-reader. I mean, if I'm going to spend the money, I might as well save the space, right?

Eh, screw it. I'll just use the desktop applications for now. I'll need to save that money for comics. XD

But alas, Borders will still be gone. Some of my best memories are of going to the bookstore with my Ma and I looked forward to sharing that with my daughter. It's amazing what she will come to know as normal concerning her reading as opposed to what I knew at her age. Is this really farewell to brick and mortar bookstores? This librarian hopes not. :(

I've been through all this before but still, it's draining.

I spoke to my Mother's doctor on Tuesday and he says what boils down to "She's getting worse. I will be conferring with her oncologist as to continuing her treatment and the hospital will take care of any hospice arrangements." This sinks in for a couple days and after going to my Mother on Thursday evening and telling her she has a choice of chemo or waiting to die because there's no chance of her getting better, the doctor comes and tells her she'll be going home in a couple days with a home health aide. The difference being a home health aide isn't waiting for you to die.

So in the last week I've been intimately equated with why the phrase "roller-coaster of emotions" is a cliche. It fits. Holly hell, man. I am tired inside and out. When I sleep, I don't dream (that I can remember) and at my best moments, I'm able to eat. But I put one foot in front of the other, keep working and keep writing.

Since things change every day (Hour? Minute?), I'm hesitant to even say she's recovering from the shingles so she'll be coming home "in a few days" with an aide. Honestly? I have not been reading anyone's journals or stories or anything (even though I've really wanted to). I'm taking it one day at a time.

Oh look, another cliche! Urrgghhh.. >_<

But I'm still writing and working to get my Zazzle shop filled with things and infect Amazon with my madness. :p I'm muddling through. That's the best way I can put it. I'll do my best to be involved but if my eyes glaze over, cut me some slack. ;)

Ma went back into the hospital on Friday night. I'm of the (correct) assumption there is going to be a lot of this in and out with hospitals which is why I didn't furiously post about how much I was freaking out on Friday. While Mom is still in the hospital, she is in there because they will (rightly) not release her till the shingles rash has healed. She's also getting a CAT scan on her lungs to see how the tumors are progressing. The nurses are being SUPER awesome and keeping me in the loop. I need to get them candy. XD

On the subject of money, I have decided I am going to close my Etsy store. Not right NOW but in the future when I own website has more traffic (meaning I can update it regularly). I'm working on having my own storefront of stories to sell, which will take time, but that got me thinking: If I'm going to have a storefront to sell my stories, why can't I sell my needlework there, too!? I'm already paying for a domain and hosting so there's no sense in me paying Etsy fees on top of that and making the CEO of Etsy rich while I don't sell a thing. It would also give me the option of listing needlework when I darn well please and not have to worry about my shop standing empty or items expiring. I'll still shop at Etsy because I believe it's important to support handmade and indie artists and authors but I think I'd save money selling on my own. :/

Like I said, I don't plan on doing this anytime soon. I have plenty of items there to keep the store presentable and there's a bunch of legal stuff I have to do to close the Etsy store and set up my own site as a real business so I can pay my taxes and all that good stuff. I am WAY too cute to go to jail for tax evasion. 0.0 But I think this would be MUCH more cost effective for me and allow me to focus on my writing with less guilt about ignoring the 50 other hobbies I have. XD

I'll be making this transition very slowly as I need to concentrate on getting as many short stories up to sell as possible. Think I can join the Million Club? I sure as hell am gonna try. XD One crazyassed story at a time. ;)

This Sunday was spent helping my husband clean out the garage. =_= I am sore but not as sore as I thought I would be hauling totes of collectables up and down stairs.

The really cool thing was seeing all of my Granny's old jewelry and nick-knacks. I remember playing with them when I was a child. Some of them even still smell like her! Part of me never wanted to part with any of the stuff I was rooting through, including my old stuffed animals and toys. Remember Hess trucks? I have one. U-Haul truck? got that, too. Small army of stuffed bunnies? Do I EVER! :D But then the darker part of me thinks "I could make a small fortune on Ebay on all this vintage jewelry..."

A lot of it I will NOT be selling. This is my Granny's stuff. Off limits. My stuff however; and Ma's collectibles, those are fair game.

I am frightened, FRIGHTENED, by the sheer volume of Xena and Star Trek merchandise my Ma managed to amass over the years. I've got the green light to unload the Xena stuff but I'm holding off on the Star Trek stuff. Ma has the complete set of dolls still unopened in the boxes. I'm waiting till we have the choice of either sell those or lose the house.

In health news, I haven't lost anymore weight but Ma is not doing much better. Granted, she's moving around the house and driving ok, but she's still not able to do things like NOT lay in bed all day. She HATES it. I use that word with complete impunity here - hate with a capital ATE. I know how that feels when I'm laid up with a cold or a sprained ankle so I can't imagine how it must feel when there is no end in sight to your sickness and you go from doing whatever you want to virtually bed ridden in a matter of weeks. It sucks.

So far, there has been no change or new reports from the doctors. Ma is back on her chemo and walking around with an oxygen tank but she's more mobile than a couple weeks ago.

As for me? I need to get my shit together. I need to get driving and get as self-sufficient as possible so I can take care of Mom the way she took care of Granny. I know I must have told myself this a bajillion times but I still keep letting Ma do what she wants but she's not able anymore. She needs rest.

I haven't heard back from the editor on my story yet. I've already emailed her the changes twice and that's more than enough. I don't want to get annoying. ._.

I think that's everything... *ponders* Eh, if I forgot something, you'll just have to get another update from me. So there. ;)