Imprimatur

Ma went back into the hospital on Friday night. I'm of the (correct) assumption there is going to be a lot of this in and out with hospitals which is why I didn't furiously post about how much I was freaking out on Friday. While Mom is still in the hospital, she is in there because they will (rightly) not release her till the shingles rash has healed. She's also getting a CAT scan on her lungs to see how the tumors are progressing. The nurses are being SUPER awesome and keeping me in the loop. I need to get them candy. XD

On the subject of money, I have decided I am going to close my Etsy store. Not right NOW but in the future when I own website has more traffic (meaning I can update it regularly). I'm working on having my own storefront of stories to sell, which will take time, but that got me thinking: If I'm going to have a storefront to sell my stories, why can't I sell my needlework there, too!? I'm already paying for a domain and hosting so there's no sense in me paying Etsy fees on top of that and making the CEO of Etsy rich while I don't sell a thing. It would also give me the option of listing needlework when I darn well please and not have to worry about my shop standing empty or items expiring. I'll still shop at Etsy because I believe it's important to support handmade and indie artists and authors but I think I'd save money selling on my own. :/

Like I said, I don't plan on doing this anytime soon. I have plenty of items there to keep the store presentable and there's a bunch of legal stuff I have to do to close the Etsy store and set up my own site as a real business so I can pay my taxes and all that good stuff. I am WAY too cute to go to jail for tax evasion. 0.0 But I think this would be MUCH more cost effective for me and allow me to focus on my writing with less guilt about ignoring the 50 other hobbies I have. XD

I'll be making this transition very slowly as I need to concentrate on getting as many short stories up to sell as possible. Think I can join the Million Club? I sure as hell am gonna try. XD One crazyassed story at a time. ;)

Most of the time, I think I should be spending my time writing rather than reading about writing. Wouldn't my time be better spent honing my craft than reading the words of someone who's already done it? In this case it's a good thing I ignored my own advice because I would have been denied the mental TNT that is Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury.

I plan to buy a copy of my own to deface with a highlighter, but wow... I was alternately cowed and inspired. While I don't care much for word association, what I took away from this book is:

1: I am not alone in my fierce need to write. It's write or die a miserable, uncreative death choking on the words which should have been put to paper.

and 2: I will never, EVER be anywhere as good as Bradbury; who wrote most of these inspiring essays before I was even born. 0.0

After giving it a great deal of thought, I've decided that in all honesty, I shouldn't try to be like Bradbury. I shouldn't try to be like anyone and in doing so, I would have missed the entire point of Bradbury's book.

Bradbury went into great detail about how, when he was young, his "friends" would try and talk him out of his favorite comics and I can recall getting the same treatment. Especially since I was a girl. "Girls are not supposed to read X-Men." "Comics are for boys. Here, take this Barbie instead."

You know what I did with those Barbies? I played X-Men with them. Endless visits to the Hellfire Club got repetitive (what else was I supposed to do with all those gowns!?) and Cyclops was now a Black woman (not many "Ken" dolls) but I didn't care. I LOVED it. I loved comics, I loved fantasy, I thought the Crypt Keeper was a genius, and that the Twilight Zone was a temple in which Rod Sterling should be worshiped. As a teenager, Lady Death and Evil Ernie taught me that you can do any damn thing you want when you write and draw and to tell those girls who called you a lesbian for drawing women in superhero uniforms to fucking suck it. Yes, that really happened. The lesbian part, not the actual telling them to suck it. I just looked at them like they were morons and went on with my life.

What does all that senseless rambling mean? I don't need to try and be like Bradbury. I already am by virtue of being myself and having no fear. You can't write if you have fear. Am I scared that someone will come up to me and say my book sucked so hard, they wanted to pour bleach in their eyes? Sure. But in that moment when you put pen to paper and you are at the mercy of characters, pouring your soul out on to the page, you are making magic. Let it take you.

I've been poking around the free fiction movement for some time; various authors who for some reason or another put all their work online for free. Where once I wanted to put DH up for free, I would like to see people purchase copies. But my short fiction is and will continue to be online for free.

In order for it to get found and read, I submitted Djinn to an online archive and it was accepted! :D I've submitted Julian and Dahlia as well and I'm just waiting to hear back. ^_^

Other than that, life has been insane, I'm bone tired, and I've been lucky to be able to string a sentence together in any form. @_@ I am just exhausted but I knew October would kick my ass. *shrugs* But it will pay off in the end. Hell, it'll pay off this week! XD Lenni's not gonna starve. That's always a good thing. ^_^

Mr. Von Kannon, one of my followers on Twitter, asked me to read one of his stories which is available on Amazon called "Chasing His Own Tale" because I am so super amazing and awesome I happened to be around. ;) As a writer, I totally get the theme of having to battle with your characters, or listen to them battle each other, to get pen to paper in a productive manner. But many a bitchy journal entry I've written over the years can't compare with the humor with which Mr. Kannon captures his Muse, Hero, and Enchantress. In between chuckles I found myself saying more often that not "Hey! I know how that feels!"

I will be looking out for more of Kannon's work in the future cause if it's even half as funny, it's well worth it. ^_^ It's really cute and I will be reading it again.

Back at dayjob from a nice vacation to a desk piled high with work. YAY!

That's right, I said "yay." Taking a break from work is all well and good but I am not the type to stay at home all the time. I will go insane. I did very much enjoy spending quality time with my kiddo. She can really tweak the guilt when she puts her mind to it. "I don't want you to go back to work ever, ever again." She tells me. A quick explanation if how exactly those shiny shoes that are just like Dorothy's, came to be in our home and subsequently on her feet, and it was acceptable for me to work. Yah know, as long as I've got her permission and all. ;)

Other than playing with her I worked out. A LOT. More accurately, my kiddo worked out with me. I am finally noticing a difference in how I look and feel and how my clothes fit. I am very much looking forward to Samhain this year. I can't wait to actually be able to dress up with my kid and not feel like a bloated hog crammed into some lycra monstrosity. >_< Anywayz, the P90x I'm using to workout works. It works very well. It hurts like you wouldn't believe, I can barely keep up, and I have to modify the hell out of some of the workouts because I have bad knees, but it works. It warns against people who are not fit doing it but since I seem to enjoy punishment, I jumped right in. Don't be like me.

Right now I am reading Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. Uhhmmm... I'm gonna withhold my full judgment till I'm completely done with the series (I'm midway through the third one now, they're fast reads) but I'll say first off I find the lack of consent completely disturbing. I understand what it means to be a complete slave but these are young men and women given to the royal court by their parents who have no option at all to say "Gee, I don't think I enjoy being raped in to submission by the kitchen staff. I think I'd like to go home." Just... Wow.

These days, I'm back to working on "Greenhouse." Better get back to it then! :D