Imprimatur

No good news from the doctors. :( Sadly, it's just a matter of "when" not "if" but I always knew that. Her cancer is terminal, inoperable, and comes with a whole host of complications.

Ma could live the next two years or be gone by the end of summer. There's just no way to tell. In the meantime, me and my husband are taking on the tasks she uses to do, like driving the kid around and laundry and such.

It just blows my mind that this is the second time I will watch a parent succumb to lung cancer. And neither my Mother nor my Grandmother smoked a day in their lives.

Lenni's had a rough week. To put it mildly.

It started if with a few silly little things and snowballed to hearing my cousin passed away. He was sick for awhile and in a LOT of pain so now he is at peace with my other family members who've passed on. He was a total free spirit; he painted, he did numerology, he even gave me Astrostones, so needless to say we had a lot in common. I'm gonna miss him...

Needless to say, I got a fat lotta NUTHIN done this week. But that will change.

Next week doesn't look like it will be any easier on my fraying nerves. My Ma is going in for surgery on Monday (to have her chemo port changed or flushed er somethin) and I have to drive her home. Did I mention I only have a permit and think of cars as death machines humans no not the full risk of? So this shall be interesting. @_@ I'm not a VERY nervous driver but inexperienced? Totally. I'm gonna have to do a practice run to make sure I don't completely freak out. :p Don't worry, my kid won't be in the car and my life insurance is paid up. ;)

This week has reminded me that I need to take time for myself to just breathe. It's an important thing, really, to just take a minute, breathe deep, and chill. That way all the work gets done, bills get paid, and nobody gets hurt. :p

I read a sizable amount of blogs, whatever I can fit in on a given day. And there are some points where I'm reading and I literally feel like I'm spying on the person. Yes, they've put it out there to be read on a public forum but still, I feel like I'm prying.

I know I've spoken about my mother's cancer, my insane child, my religion or politics may have crept in here or there but not in a huge way. All in all, I try to keep it all strictly business but that seems unfair. Everybody else has opened a window into their lives while I still keep all my shades drawn. Not that I'll be providing details on gyno appointments or anything but I could get a bit more open here. :)

So what would you all like to know? ;)