atthequillsmercy: (FAIL)
I've been through all this before but still, it's draining.

I spoke to my Mother's doctor on Tuesday and he says what boils down to "She's getting worse. I will be conferring with her oncologist as to continuing her treatment and the hospital will take care of any hospice arrangements." This sinks in for a couple days and after going to my Mother on Thursday evening and telling her she has a choice of chemo or waiting to die because there's no chance of her getting better, the doctor comes and tells her she'll be going home in a couple days with a home health aide. The difference being a home health aide isn't waiting for you to die.

So in the last week I've been intimately equated with why the phrase "roller-coaster of emotions" is a cliche. It fits. Holly hell, man. I am tired inside and out. When I sleep, I don't dream (that I can remember) and at my best moments, I'm able to eat. But I put one foot in front of the other, keep working and keep writing.

Since things change every day (Hour? Minute?), I'm hesitant to even say she's recovering from the shingles so she'll be coming home "in a few days" with an aide. Honestly? I have not been reading anyone's journals or stories or anything (even though I've really wanted to). I'm taking it one day at a time.

Oh look, another cliche! Urrgghhh.. >_<

But I'm still writing and working to get my Zazzle shop filled with things and infect Amazon with my madness. :p I'm muddling through. That's the best way I can put it. I'll do my best to be involved but if my eyes glaze over, cut me some slack. ;)
atthequillsmercy: (Hypatia of Alexandria)
Or she will be by the time I get off work today. My mother was released from the hospital this afternoon. :)

It's difficult for me to sum up the feelings other than the ole roller-coaster metaphor. While tired, it is apt but doesn't quite cover what it's like to have your remaining parent in and out of the hospital and never quite knowing which time will be the last. There MUST be a special circle of hell just for that feeling. If I really believed in hell... Anyways, this passed week or so has sucked ass and that's the nicest way I can put it. Between my mother in the hospital, my husband spraining his ankle and my child determined to act three years old no matter how illogical I keep telling her that is; I believe some booze and/or long bubble baths are in order.

Which has left me with some sort of a quandary: How personal do I want to get with my writing blog? Granted, I won't be doing in depth reviews of *achem* "toys" I purchase or describing bodily functions in grizzly detail (only vague detail ~_^) , but if I wait to only talk about writing, it's kinda cold and lonely. I don't get many visitors here anyway and the ones that come, I'd like to keep.

So, I suppose it's time to get to know the Lenni. As House would say: Wear a cup.

WOOHOO!!

Feb. 15th, 2011 03:44 pm
atthequillsmercy: (High Energy Magic Use Area)
I am FINALLY well enough to be upright and working again without the aid of Dayquil. I didn't like the way Dayquil made me feel so I just stayed home one more day (yesterday) and slept till I felt better. The antibiotics make me a little dizzy but since I don't drive, I can deal with that.

This also means I have a weeks worth of writing to catch up on. I did try to write while I was sick only to go cross-eyed and feel like I was going to vomit. And that's only if my hand would stop shaking long enough to put pen to paper in the first place. 9_9 But there's nothing stopping me now and I owe you all an update!

Library story of the day: There was a wayward zombie DVD up at the circulation desk that obviously didn't belong to us and nobody could tell who it was reserved for. So naturally, they assume it belonged to me. It didn't. But whatever reputation I seem to have at my job, I like it. XD

That's all I have for today, kids. Stay well!

Sick AGAIN

Feb. 11th, 2011 02:45 pm
atthequillsmercy: (FAIL)
I have the sickness what never ends. I've been trying to fight this off for two weeks now so I finally broke and went to the doctor who gave me some lovely antibiotics to cure what ever evil is inside me.

Don't worry, there will be plenty of evil left over to write with. >}

Now, this medicine makes me dizzy so that means I can't work out but I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to lie in bed with my netbook and type where it's warm and snuggly. I'm mainly going to concentrate on getting better so I can just be mentally ill like everyone else. ;)

Oh damnit!

Jan. 27th, 2011 04:19 pm
atthequillsmercy: (Boot)
I'm sick. That's the first step to healing, right? Admitting you're sick? Because usually I just work till I fall down. =_= If it's bad enough that I actually consider not going to work, you know it's bad. >_< But isn't it nice for my co-workers to share their germs with me? :p

If I'm not too dizzy or coughing too much, I plan to hunker down in bed with my notebooks and netbook so I can still have an update this week for you guys. :( I'm still having formatting issues with Create Space but it's being handled by people who know much more about such things than I do. @_@ I'll get there, don't worry. I'm sure you guys are worried. XD

While Ma was in surgery (she's totally fine), I worked on a Go Away Girls side story for a submission to an anthology. Let me tell you right now it really made me laugh to be sitting in a Catholic hospital writing erotic lesbian steampunk and reading a m/m romance. XD I lol'd. Hard.

Ok, right now, I need to concentrate on keeping the room from spinning to hard. I need to make it to 5 to justify the library keeping me on their payroll and then I can go home and fall down. O_o
atthequillsmercy: (Boot)
Wednesdays are my usual late nights where I work at the library from 1-9pm, leaving the mornings to get various errands done or simply gird my loins for the long night. This week was a trip to the pediatrician to have the doc take a look at my coughing, runny nosed kid. We get to the office and don't have to wait long, which is good because me and Penny have a similar attention span only a different taste in toys, and all the doctor has to do is LOOK at her and she starts screaming her head off. 0.0

My monkeygirl was warned ahead of time that there would be no shots this visit, that since she was sick, we were going to the doctor to make her better. She understood and was glad she was going. But once he was in front of her, we had to hold her down just so he could check her throat. You'd think we were torturing her the way she screamed!

On the upside? No strep throat.

The doctor sent me home with instructions to get her Dimatapp which said expressly on the label not to give to any kid under 6. I decided not to take the chance, given the HUGE Tylenol recall, and opted for a medicine for kids 2 and up. After the Tylenol thing, I just don't trust over the counter medications for my kid. Me? I'm old. I can take the punishment. There's still hope for my monkeygirl, so I'm not taking the chance.

I've been writing pretty steadily and reading here and there. I'm almost done with "American Woman in the Chinese Hat" which is sad but very good. I also finished a short story; "Chasing His Own Tale" by Marc Vun Kannon. It's a really cute story which I will review in full tomorrow (since I don't have it in front of me now). I met him on Twitter. W00t to social networking!! :D It'd be cool if he read my stuff, too, but I'm not gonna hassle him. No sense being a whiner about it, ya know?

These days, I've been working alternately on "Go Away Girls" and "Greenhouse." See that hotlink there? First chapter of "Girls" went up on Sunday. Go. Read. Discuss. Then eat a cookie. :)

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