As you all may NOT know (unless you slavishly follow my Twitter feed) I have finished the rough draft of Gods in the Grey City, which I will get to work on typing as fast as possible.
In other news, as of Monday, Ma is officially on hospice care. There’s no telling how long till… Well, TILL. It’s the same hospice my Granny used so I expected them to be very nice to me. So far, I have not been disappointed.
Understandably (I hope) you can understand all the delay with my writing these days. :/
It’s no excuse for laziness, however. So, I better get to work.
Briefly, I considered finally making the switch to an e-reader. On the rare occasion I actually purchase a book, it's a paperback. These are becoming few and far between, seeing as how I work in a library which gives me inside info on when my favorite books are coming out and I can read them for free. I don't even mind waiting. It gives me time to read other books. :p
But comics are not available on your average mainstream e-reader without jumping through a thousand hoops to get the jpeg files to display. And if you've ever seen my Shelfari list, I read A LOT of comics.
What concerns me most about Borders closing is, as a graphic novel fan and a librarian, I see kids sitting in stores AND in the library reading their favorite series because they simply can't afford to buy them. In my years as a fan, I've seen volumes go from $5.99-$7.99 to $9.99-$24.99 for your average collected book. Kids (and parents) just can't afford to keep up when some series can go as high as 30 volumes. That's $750 or more per series. And don't even get me started on having space for all these things!!
This calls to mind the last time I went to my local Borders where a man working there scolded the kids for standing around and reading the books. The kids complained the libraries don't have "cool books like these." The hell you say! I told them flat out "Not only do we have cool books but the one you have in your hand I just ordered for the library!"
They didn't believe me.
I feel for these kids because they can't afford to buy them, can't stand in a Borders and read (cause Borders is gone), and don't KNOW these books are in a library! This is really sad and troubling to me.
As to why I was considering an e-reader, I will need space in my house for all the comics I will now HAVE to purchase from Amazon (some comics I get are not appropriate for a library... Not all of them are yaoi so shaddap... XD) so if I want novels, I'd like to save the space and use an e-reader. I mean, if I'm going to spend the money, I might as well save the space, right?
Eh, screw it. I'll just use the desktop applications for now. I'll need to save that money for comics. XD
But alas, Borders will still be gone. Some of my best memories are of going to the bookstore with my Ma and I looked forward to sharing that with my daughter. It's amazing what she will come to know as normal concerning her reading as opposed to what I knew at her age. Is this really farewell to brick and mortar bookstores? This librarian hopes not. :(
Two: I got a 5 star review on my lesbian steampunk pr0n! :D This sets up a bad precedent to me... XD To celebrate my first 5 star review on my first published short story, I've added a poster of the cover art in the Zazzle shop. The art work is once again by the fabulous nocturnian, who helps me infect the world with my demented ideas. ;) You can see her comic and more of her art here.
Now that things are settling down, my hand is actually TWITCHING to write. I am not even joking. I feel the pen in my hand like a phantom limb.
Also, I went to see the last Harry Potter movie. To avoid any spoilers I will say only this: I laughed, I cried, I LOVED it. Go see it. ;)
I spoke to my Mother's doctor on Tuesday and he says what boils down to "She's getting worse. I will be conferring with her oncologist as to continuing her treatment and the hospital will take care of any hospice arrangements." This sinks in for a couple days and after going to my Mother on Thursday evening and telling her she has a choice of chemo or waiting to die because there's no chance of her getting better, the doctor comes and tells her she'll be going home in a couple days with a home health aide. The difference being a home health aide isn't waiting for you to die.
So in the last week I've been intimately equated with why the phrase "roller-coaster of emotions" is a cliche. It fits. Holly hell, man. I am tired inside and out. When I sleep, I don't dream (that I can remember) and at my best moments, I'm able to eat. But I put one foot in front of the other, keep working and keep writing.
Since things change every day (Hour? Minute?), I'm hesitant to even say she's recovering from the shingles so she'll be coming home "in a few days" with an aide. Honestly? I have not been reading anyone's journals or stories or anything (even though I've really wanted to). I'm taking it one day at a time.
Oh look, another cliche! Urrgghhh.. >_<
But I'm still writing and working to get my Zazzle shop filled with things and infect Amazon with my madness. :p I'm muddling through. That's the best way I can put it. I'll do my best to be involved but if my eyes glaze over, cut me some slack. ;)
Here it is. ;)
I love this universe and I will absolutely write more with these ladies in the future; both erotic and non-erotic. :) They're some cool ladies. XD
In other news, Mom had her scan and basically, there's no change in the actual cancer. She's still in the hospital and she will be till all the shingles are healed and she can swallow food on her own. When she does come home, Ma will have an aide to help her around the house.
But at least she can come home.
I'm working on more of Gods in the Grey City and hope to post more on the site. Once that's one, it'll go to Kindle, too. I'm working on having a whole little corner of Amazon just for me. XD If I can get enough out there, maybe I can make some extra money to afford a dryer! :D I would love to own a dryer... *dreams* But all in due time.
Tonight, since I have a three day weekend, I'll be working on starting a baby sweater (not for me) and practicing driving. I will also try to finish Grey City so I can get it edited and I can move on to the next project. I'm hustling baby!! XD
On the subject of money, I have decided I am going to close my Etsy store. Not right NOW but in the future when I own website has more traffic (meaning I can update it regularly). I'm working on having my own storefront of stories to sell, which will take time, but that got me thinking: If I'm going to have a storefront to sell my stories, why can't I sell my needlework there, too!? I'm already paying for a domain and hosting so there's no sense in me paying Etsy fees on top of that and making the CEO of Etsy rich while I don't sell a thing. It would also give me the option of listing needlework when I darn well please and not have to worry about my shop standing empty or items expiring. I'll still shop at Etsy because I believe it's important to support handmade and indie artists and authors but I think I'd save money selling on my own. :/
Like I said, I don't plan on doing this anytime soon. I have plenty of items there to keep the store presentable and there's a bunch of legal stuff I have to do to close the Etsy store and set up my own site as a real business so I can pay my taxes and all that good stuff. I am WAY too cute to go to jail for tax evasion. 0.0 But I think this would be MUCH more cost effective for me and allow me to focus on my writing with less guilt about ignoring the 50 other hobbies I have. XD
I'll be making this transition very slowly as I need to concentrate on getting as many short stories up to sell as possible. Think I can join the Million Club? I sure as hell am gonna try. XD One crazyassed story at a time. ;)
I'll be working my way around trying to play catch up but it'll be slow going. I need to prepare for Ma to come home. The house is just not the same without her.
We don't have any plans today other than to get things clean and practice driving some more. I'm getting better at it! :D I also need to drop by the hospital to give Ma a few things.
I haven't been sleeping well but I have been writing. I've decided to throw my energy into getting as many short stories written to sell as possible. I need the money, plain and simple.
Better get on it. I have tons to do!
The really cool thing was seeing all of my Granny's old jewelry and nick-knacks. I remember playing with them when I was a child. Some of them even still smell like her! Part of me never wanted to part with any of the stuff I was rooting through, including my old stuffed animals and toys. Remember Hess trucks? I have one. U-Haul truck? got that, too. Small army of stuffed bunnies? Do I EVER! :D But then the darker part of me thinks "I could make a small fortune on Ebay on all this vintage jewelry..."
A lot of it I will NOT be selling. This is my Granny's stuff. Off limits. My stuff however; and Ma's collectibles, those are fair game.
I am frightened, FRIGHTENED, by the sheer volume of Xena and Star Trek merchandise my Ma managed to amass over the years. I've got the green light to unload the Xena stuff but I'm holding off on the Star Trek stuff. Ma has the complete set of dolls still unopened in the boxes. I'm waiting till we have the choice of either sell those or lose the house.
In health news, I haven't lost anymore weight but Ma is not doing much better. Granted, she's moving around the house and driving ok, but she's still not able to do things like NOT lay in bed all day. She HATES it. I use that word with complete impunity here - hate with a capital ATE. I know how that feels when I'm laid up with a cold or a sprained ankle so I can't imagine how it must feel when there is no end in sight to your sickness and you go from doing whatever you want to virtually bed ridden in a matter of weeks. It sucks.
So far, there has been no change or new reports from the doctors. Ma is back on her chemo and walking around with an oxygen tank but she's more mobile than a couple weeks ago.
As for me? I need to get my shit together. I need to get driving and get as self-sufficient as possible so I can take care of Mom the way she took care of Granny. I know I must have told myself this a bajillion times but I still keep letting Ma do what she wants but she's not able anymore. She needs rest.
I haven't heard back from the editor on my story yet. I've already emailed her the changes twice and that's more than enough. I don't want to get annoying. ._.
I think that's everything... *ponders* Eh, if I forgot something, you'll just have to get another update from me. So there. ;)
( Read more... )
Since that last one turned out so well, I added it to some stickers and prints in my Zazzle shop.
I was also visited by a little yellow bird today. It came tapping at my window and seemed to be telling me to stop worrying so much about the future and how things will turn out. Seeing as how I was worrying at the time, this makes sense to me. So, on this, my last day of vacation, I'm spending the day messing around with Penny while I crochet and write. Maybe I'll even sketch a little. I'm feeling pretty damn inspired. :)
We have a follow-up with him in two weeks.
But getting home was a nightmare. I could see tears in her eyes from the pain. It was just unreal... By the time I got her home, medicated, and laying down, I was in tears myself. It took the rest of the day for me to just calm down and try and get some work done. It really is the shingles messing with her. When Mom takes the medication, she's... Is "fine" really the word to use for slightly less excruciating nerve pain?
On the plus side, I got a positive response to my query! I'm making the changes the editor asked for and will resubmit the short story to her by Friday.
Tomorrow is not only my daughter's birthday, but also the Summer Solstice. :) I'm not sure if I'll be able to do anything fancy but I did leave out an apple as an offering today. Better to strike while the iron is hot, right? I did spot a statue that would be perfect for an outside altar (till I can afford the one I really want) but I will be totally honest, I do NOT have my head together to plan much beyond "Edit story. Child needs birthday cake." So you'll have to forgive the lack of interaction from me. If you can, I'm sure the gods will.
I do feel my duty as a daughter could have been done better. I really froze. I need to be slightly less of a complete spaz and get my shit together. >_< Mom needs my help and since I never would have made it this car without her, she deserves my best.
And I'm thinking of having another kid?! I must be out of my mind!!!
Anyways, today's plan is to accompany my mother to the doctor. Depending on when we get out, I may take the kid to the park or just go home and write while she naps. I have no idea. @_@ Watch, I'll end up cleaning the floors instead of writing. >_<
I've been getting back to work on GH and having a complete ball with it. It's SO much fun working on it again, I can't even tell you. XD Of course getting another 5 star review on Dreamhunter doesn't hurt, either. ;)
I also have become enamored with this video:
As a fan of Gaga and Judas Priest, I had a complete fangirlgasm. It's really well done. 0.0
Won't some generous fan make a fanvid or fanfic of my characters one day? A girl can dream... ;)
Oh, it needs so much editing it's not even funny; but it's there and I'm happy. ^_^ Because I can work on Greenhouse again! YAYZ!
But looking at how things are going I may be able to submit on Saturday. If I've learned anything is that I'm not exactly the best at writing mysteries/thrillers/noir-thingz but that could change if I ever decided to do another one.
If I do? There will be dragons in it or SOMETHING!!
On a slightly less productive note, I finished my first foray in to 10 Fantasy Sagas That Are Wronger Than Twilight with The Cat's Fancy and yeah, typical romance. Nothing overtly horrid. Nothing to see here. I also finished Pleasure Unbound, by Larissa Ione and, again, another 'meh' on the "wrong" factor scale. I mean, I can see where someone who hasn't read supernatural romance may be put off by the "Wow, it's page 5 and they're screwing already cause he's an incubus but she's just had her guts stitched back together" thing but after about 10 of these, you expect it. Especially if you've written and read about incubi before. It's as if a shark bit you, it's what they DO: Have sex with women. Give me an incubus who's made a vow of celibacy. Now THAT would be odd.
Now I'm reading Touched by Venom, by Janine Cross and already we've got people getting high on dragon venom and whipping each other with their junk hanging out so I'm already heading towards "What have I done to my brain" territory. Not quite. That's reserved for the Beauty books. XD Yes, I will keep linking back to that and YES, there are spoilers for the series there.
As for my Mom, things are still going the same. It's day by day, week by week. So, there really is no sense being overly depressed about it. She's here NOW and that's what matters. :)
Better get back to work then, eh? Time waits for no one! :D
Ma could live the next two years or be gone by the end of summer. There's just no way to tell. In the meantime, me and my husband are taking on the tasks she uses to do, like driving the kid around and laundry and such.
It just blows my mind that this is the second time I will watch a parent succumb to lung cancer. And neither my Mother nor my Grandmother smoked a day in their lives.
A friend of mine sent me this article. Now, just FYI, you can't sent me articles like this without me instantly thinking of this as a challenge. XD Immediately, I sent off to interloaning these books from wherever they could be gotten, and reading them as they come in. You think I would have learned my lesson from The Sleeping Beauty books but no. (thar be naughty bits behind that link... and spoilers)
I'm almost finished with #3 The Cat's Fancy by Julie Kenner. It's a typical romance so far. Nothing really creepy about it. Cat loves man. Cat turns herself human to woo man but is only a human at night. If he was giving the cat smexy eyes, I would pause but eh, it's a fairy tale. No bestiality in sight so it's a palatable romance if you like that sort of thing.
I'm not going to slog my way through the entire list. I don't think anyone reading this blog could pay me enough to read another Laurel K. Hamilton book after reading Cerulean Sins a few years ago. About the 8th time she had to feed the "ardeur" I just stopped caring because it jarred the story so much. And you know it's bad when a perv like me sits back and thinks "Are you done having sex yet? Because there's some sort of plot I was interested in." Usually it's the other way around. XD Like with the Immortals After Dark series I've been reading.
Hey, all the books I read can't be Bradbuy. I make no excuses for my trashy reading choices, thank you very much.
In other news, I'm still working on the lesbian thriller. I don't think anyone really believes I've written a single word of it considering I keep talking about the damn thing in every other way but "I finally finished the effing thing!" But I have till the 30th to turn it in for the anthology. It's gonna be a rainy weekend so I'll be spending it typing whatever I finish writing tonight and tomorrow. I wanna keep this one shorter than the steampunk one.
I guess if I wanna get it done, I should focus or something silly like that. 9_9
Seriously here, I have nothing to do with that penis so I am very sick of hearing about it. The only penis I care about is the one I come in direct contact with - The one I married. THAT one has real consequences and I SHOULD know where it's been and what (or who) it's doing.
Should a man be responsible for his penis? Yes. It should be kept clean and only shared with those who ask. You should protect it with a jacket in harsh environments. But I no more care about Weiner's penis than the nice young man who helped me at Starbucks or the guy who comes into the library and reads nothing but The Post (for the lulz, you see).
So, remember media: The dick jokes will get old and there is a little matter of people losing their jobs and becoming homeless and shit. Why not talk about that for awhile?
... Now I have "Every Sperm Is Sacred" stuck in my head... Damnit... XD
I plan to buy a copy of my own to deface with a highlighter, but wow... I was alternately cowed and inspired. While I don't care much for word association, what I took away from this book is:
1: I am not alone in my fierce need to write. It's write or die a miserable, uncreative death choking on the words which should have been put to paper.
and 2: I will never, EVER be anywhere as good as Bradbury; who wrote most of these inspiring essays before I was even born. 0.0
After giving it a great deal of thought, I've decided that in all honesty, I shouldn't try to be like Bradbury. I shouldn't try to be like anyone and in doing so, I would have missed the entire point of Bradbury's book.
Bradbury went into great detail about how, when he was young, his "friends" would try and talk him out of his favorite comics and I can recall getting the same treatment. Especially since I was a girl. "Girls are not supposed to read X-Men." "Comics are for boys. Here, take this Barbie instead."
You know what I did with those Barbies? I played X-Men with them. Endless visits to the Hellfire Club got repetitive (what else was I supposed to do with all those gowns!?) and Cyclops was now a Black woman (not many "Ken" dolls) but I didn't care. I LOVED it. I loved comics, I loved fantasy, I thought the Crypt Keeper was a genius, and that the Twilight Zone was a temple in which Rod Sterling should be worshiped. As a teenager, Lady Death and Evil Ernie taught me that you can do any damn thing you want when you write and draw and to tell those girls who called you a lesbian for drawing women in superhero uniforms to fucking suck it. Yes, that really happened. The lesbian part, not the actual telling them to suck it. I just looked at them like they were morons and went on with my life.
What does all that senseless rambling mean? I don't need to try and be like Bradbury. I already am by virtue of being myself and having no fear. You can't write if you have fear. Am I scared that someone will come up to me and say my book sucked so hard, they wanted to pour bleach in their eyes? Sure. But in that moment when you put pen to paper and you are at the mercy of characters, pouring your soul out on to the page, you are making magic. Let it take you.
Yeah, well... At least you don't have to live it. XD