May. 23rd, 2011

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Ma has been in the hospital since Wednesday and with her having lung cancer and all, I always wonder if this time will be the time she goes in and never comes out. But it isn't this time. Ma's being treated for shingles and will be home in a couple days. Not fit as a fiddle but fit enough.

It's during times like this where I try to meet my writing goals but I tend to fall short. I am filled with guilt about focusing on anything else but my Mother getting better and also for not giving my writing the focus it deserves. But through all this, I noticed that writing helped me keep my head together during down time where I would otherwise be panicking. I'm the type to handle a crisis while its happening then break down after (or when there's really nothing more I can do).

Writing really helped me keep from curling up in a ball and crying or screaming at people for no reason other than they continue to breathe near me. So now I know in the future, I shouldn't feel guilty for writing if something has gone bad or if I can't reach the magical 5 page mark. If the treadmill and weights keep my body strong, writing keeps my spirit strong. I'll need both to support my family through though times.

Now, since things are better, I promise I will get back to talking about anime and making dick, fart, and boob jokes now. XD

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